Now that the initial shock of online dating has worn off, I am actually starting to settle into the idea of the process. In the beginning, my sweet tender hearted side would take it personally if someone did not reply to a message I initiated. I mean really fellas, kick a girl when she’s down. It’s huge for a girl to allow herself to be vulnerable enough to make the first move and to have some guy just leave ya hanging. Seriously?! What was even more shattering to the ego is that some of these gents would never have received a rose on the Bachelorette so who do they think they are?
FORTUNATELY, this crazy spiral of emotion did not last long and reality kicked back in. (Thank you Reality, I owe you one). I reminded myself that I am not going to be interested in everyone that contacts me so why should I expect the same from them….(well other than the fact that I am cute, adorable, lovable and so much fun to be around)….Hey, don’t laugh…it’s all about the confidence online my friends. Anyway, back to my “reality check”….now that my head is level, I am actually starting to have a little fun. I mean really, this is comical. Wow! So much blog material, so little time……where do I even begin? My mind is racing with all of the wonderful excitement I can’t wait to share with you. There is just too much goodness to give you all at once. For now we will focus on “first impressions”.
Online profiles are kind of like billboards along the highway. The advertiser really only has about three to four seconds to effectively (or ineffectively) catch the customers attention. Profiles are not much different. (except you don’t have to worry about rear ending the car in front of you) There are SO many profiles to filter that you could spend weeks skimming through…frankly I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Most people are likely to scan the designated profile picture and in those brief seconds make a snap decision to look further or move on. (Kind of sad really if you think about it…like a casting call lineup….complete strangers judging you based on one photo and either saying too tall, too short, too much hair, not enough hair….NEXT!). Your potential dating future is decided in the wink of an eye (no pun intended creepy winkers).
With that in mind I feel it is my duty and obligation to try and help you sweet little fellas out there that must not have paid attention in Marketing 101! I am sure you are all extremely lovely BUT let me give you some advice and help you out. I promise, you’ll think me one day. Here you go guys…..
Hints for the Fella’s:
1. Guys; if you are planning to take a self portrait, it is important to know we can see you in the bathroom mirror. Do you not have anyone else that can take a picture for you? The greeter at Wal-Mart would be happy to snap a photo for you and you will even get a smiley face sticker.
2. Attention follicly challenged men: We don’t care that you are bald but hiding behind a ball cap in every picture isn’t going to fool us for very long. Believe it or not women are smarter than the average bear.
3. Fellas, if you MUST post a picture without your shirt off, please, please refrain from making it your main profile picture. And No, it does not matter if you have six pack abs or treating us to a glimpse of “the gun show”
4. News flash, women are not that impressed with pictures of you on a boat, motorcycle or some other hot rod apparatus….we will assume you are trying to compensate some other shortcoming
5. Yes, girls are suckers for a guy that is compassionate about his dog, but if all of your online photos are of your feline, we will begin to wonder where we’ll fit into the equation. There is only so much room on the couch.
6. Umm, excuse me. If you are trying to attract other women, why are you posting pictures with you and your ex or a harem of other women? Recent surveys indicate most women are not interested if you are the female party favor. Refer to Hint #4
7. Seriously? What’s up with all of the pictures of you, by yourself, in front of every monument in the United States and half of Europe? Just pick your favorite travel photo to post and tell us in your profile description that you like to travel. Pssstt…..We are intelligent creatures, we will get it, I promise.
8. If the online dating site allows you to add a little “tag line” next to your picture, remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS. I seriously doubt you will score points by having “No Humps and Dumps” next to your picture. Am I wrong?
9. Girls go soft over pictures with sweet little babies and we love it even more when a guy appears to be the nurturing type. But if you have stated that you don’t have kids in your profile and all of a sudden there you are by yourself with a babe in your arms…. we will know they’re not yours. Nice try but we are on to your strategy. (Psssttt……You must not have heard me the first time, we are intelligent creatures, we will get it, I promise).
10. Gangsta / Pranksta….okay, I admit, I am a goofy girl and often resort back to my twelve year old side and take pictures where I’m throwing up my fingers in what is probably a gang sign, as well as making funny faces or doing some other silly pose, but let’s save those for Facebook people. Heck, you can even add it to your photo selections just NOT the very first photo a girl is going to view. Remember fella’s…..you want her to like you, not be repulsed by you. Just sayin’
Whew, that was hard work, but if I helped even just one guy meet his soul mate it is worth it. Now that I have completed my community service for the day it’s time for some fun…. Let’s see what “goodies” I will discover online today! Till next time….
No comments:
Post a Comment