Life is always easier when you don’t have to go it alone. Why do I always seem to forget this concept? Well, in this incident, it was most likely because I was somewhat embarrassed to join the online dating masses. It just feels so unnatural to me. If there is not an Online Dating for Dummies book they need to get one to press PRONTO, it could potentially have saved me some embarrassing mistakes along the way. However, thanks to those mistakes, I am quickly (and embarrassingly) learning the ropes regarding the “dos” and “don’ts” to maneuvering around the dating websites, or at least the site I am using. It is like Big Brother watching your every move. Can we all say, CREEPY!!! I wince every time I long on for fear my computer will start talking to me. Tangent alert…sorry, I’ll get back on track!
I must admit, I can be pretty bad about jumping into things without really thinking it through. For being a total Type A personality, I seem to have an alter ego that will decide to just throw caution to the wind and seize the day! Carpe Diem my friends! (Livin’ la vida loca for sure). So, my intention was to venture into cyber dating land without anyone I know finding out. Dating is hard enough as it is but now, to actually “pay” to date. Mortifying! As part of my daily prayers to God, I continue to ask humility in all situations. Because He loves me so much, why should He leave online dating out of the equation? As I embark on this journey, I am humbled daily. So, after several embarrassing errors on my part, I came to the conclusion that I cannot do this journey alone. If this online dating thing actually works out and I end up meeting “the one” it will definitely be a result of “My Village”. (Shout out to my village people! Y’all ROCK!)
So the first thing I had to learn about being a tribal member of the village was to forego my need for control. If I want this to work I need to shut up and listen even if I don’t like what the other tribe members are saying. For example, one of my male marrieds’ (aka: married male friend), who by the way is not the warm and fuzzy type, basically ripped my profile apart and had me remove the majority of my pictures. After reading my profile, he said it came across as if I was desperate and trying to hard. (Them are fightin’ words; one thing I am not is desperate). Keep in mind, I did ask for his honest feedback….I guess he thought I said brutally honest feedback. Disclaimer: He does have my best interest at heart and is truly like a brother to me so there was no permanent damage done, just a few weeks in therapy. JUST KIDDING! Anyway, with my lip quivering (not really, I actually punched him in the arm) I made the changes he suggested and realized he was completely right. My profile was no longer a novel, it is now “somewhat” brief and to the point, and the description still fits my personality. (I need to remember to think like a guy but still look and act like a girl.)
Now my female village people of course are a little softer in their approach, but somehow I still feel like my little heart is being blessed each time I get feedback. Not a good sign! (Have I mentioned online dating sucks?) It’s all good though because I know they love me and truly want the best for me. (Kind of like when your mama tells you your latest haircut isn’t very flattering to your bone structure. She means well, she really does, Bless her heart.) Being in the village is not always like a session of “Boot camp for the Emotions”. My village is comprised of cheerleaders, advice columnist, online dating alumni who have paved the path and even photographers that try very hard to get a really good profile shot. (FYI photographers….I appreciate your efforts but if you ain’t photogenic, you just ain’t photogenic. Just sayin’). I also have sweet interpreters that are able to read between the lines in my correspondences. For example they will say: “I know he emailed you Lily Beth and the response was really nice and yes you both like horses, but sweetie, he’s just not that into you”. How can one girl be so lucky?
In all seriousness though, like everything in life, this is a journey and I am grateful that I have a great support system walking with me every step of the way, they are my rock. I am thankful for my village….just a long as I don’t end up the “village idiot”.
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