Typically when you think of Halloween, you think of the spooky haunted house jump out of your skin type of event. Not me, I’m all about the cutesy pumpkins, yellow mums and hay bale type of festivities. When it came time to carve our pumpkins, my neighbors were not the least bit surprised that instead of a spooky face, my jack-o-lantern was monogrammed! Looks really cool all lit up. What, what’s wrong with that?!
Since today is Halloween I figured it would be a good day to talk about my online “stalker”! No worries though, this is not a spooky frightening tale, I don’t roll like that. (It could classify as creepy which is fine because that is the entire reason for the blog right?)
Recently, a friend and I were discussing my sweet lil’ online stalker (we’ll call him Burl). Burl appears to be an older gentleman and lives in a completely different state (literally and figuratively). Since there really is no way for him to find out my real name or where I even live, I find him to be completely harmless. I am not even sure he even knows that he is contacting the same person over and over. For all I know, he thinks he is reaching out to a new person each time he gets online.
Anyway, Burl just randomly pops up out of the blue with creepy winks and random emails. Sometimes it will be just one contact here and there and sometimes I will receive a series of contacts one right after the other filling my inbox with his sweet nothings. He is definitely not a man of many words, he gets straight to the point with comments like, “Wow baby you look hot” “I’m a good man” “May name is Burl” and today just a plain ol’ “Wow baby”. Now if that just doesn’t make a girl go weak in the knee’s I don’t know what will!
My friend asked if I had ever responded to Burl and I after I proclaimed a big “HELL to the NO” they asked why I just didn’t block Burl’s profile. What!!! Are you serious? Why would I want to do that? He’s my online cheerleader. For all you SNL fans, it’s like a little whisper from Stuart Smalley. (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91asmalley.phtml) Wait a minute…I think Burl is Stuart Smalley.
When I was a kid, I used to love the arcade game Whack-a-mole.
Many of my friends would get annoyed playing the game because the little varmint would just keep popping up and you just could not seem to get rid of him, even when you thought you whacked him on the head sending him back into his mechanical hole. Not me, I loved that game and each time the little mole would pop his head out of the hole it would just make me laugh hysterically. Burl is my little Whack-a-mole that just pops up out of the blue. Pop up…disappear, Pop up disappear…never know when he will emerge. Somehow though, his timing always seems to be perfect. Just when I need a good laugh and dose of “Burlism”, there he is. Yes, I do realize it is a tad bit creepy, but bless his sweet lil’ ol’ heart and I guess mine too for that matter! No whacking this lil’ mole…I think I’ll keep him…..at least for now anyway! When the time comes, and he really does become a pesky little varmint I’ll know how to get rid of him. We all saw Caddy Shack….anyone know where to find the dynamite?
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